Holidays
by Miss Fi
Summary: Lina is willed a cottage, only it's already occupied.


Holidays

By: Miss Fi

missvanyel@yahoo.com

_Disclaimer:  None of the characters belong to me, only the scenario._

Rain dripped and seeped into every seam of their clothing.  The cold, grey skies and bitter wind only helped make the dampness more unforgiving.  Darkness would soon be upon them and they needed to find the cottage.  With very short tempers, they trudged along a swampy goat track in near silence.  A low rumbling sounded and they all groaned in disgust when Gourry informed them that it was only his stomach.

Lina, and company were out in this godforsaken weather because the tiny sorceress had been willed a summer cottage by her Great- Aunt Matildy.  The gift of this house came as an immense surprise. Lina only remembered the aunt disliking the red haired fireball that she was as a child. However, the will had read '_To my dear Great-Niece Lina I leave the summer cottage that I won in a game of poker.  May my niece receive everything she deserves and more.' _

_ So here they all were; Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadis, Filia, and of course Xellos.  The miserable trek out to this cottage had so far been a trial in itself;__ from the hellish swarms of biting insects to the sweltering heat of midday and then the freak storm that was upon them.  Adding to their misfortune no one really knew exactly where the cottage was so they had wandered for hours hoping for a simple sign to guide them._

"Man!  This place better be worth it!" groused Lina.  The rest simply nodded in agreement.  They were too tired to even complain.

Finally, as if by divine intervention, Gourry tripped over a sign lying partially submerged in a huge puddle in the roadway.  It read '_Chalet Darkwood Left 2 Miles'; to their left was another tiny footpath leading deeper into the woods.  With ecstatic joy the soggy travellers sprinted up the path.  Mud splashing and tree branches whipping, they straggled to the final destination.  Standing before them was a magnificent house surrounded by fantastic gardens.  Despite the drizzling rain it was breathtaking. There was a gorgeous view of the lake from all of the rooms on the southeast side, private balconies for each bedroom and a wrap around veranda on the ground floor.  The entire group was star struck at the sight. _

          In better spirits since finally arriving and finding dry clothing; they were on a mission for food.  Lina and Gourry enthusiastically raided the massive walk-in refrigerator, while Filia and Xellos sat in the beautiful little library and actually shared a pot of tea amicably.  The mood of the holiday had gotten to even them, and they had cooled off their little spats since arriving.  Zelgadis and Amelia were setting a fire in the gigantic fireplace in the great room.  Zel and Amelia sprawled out side by side on a bear skin rug enjoying the mood of the moment. 

"Mr. Zelgadis, this is so romantic; don't you think?"

"Ahh…sure… whatever." Zel replied warily.

Everyone was enjoying their own form of bliss.  No one suspected that it would be short lived.

          Later that night when all had tucked in for sleep, the fun began.  The vacationers didn't know that this house was already occupied…and that the residents were fun-loving pranksters of the highest degree.  They could tell these people were going to be fun to toy with.  The show began with a great crash designed to wake the sleepers and send them all running.

          The gang huddled in the great room, a little nervous after being awakened so abruptly.  Lina was pacing and vowing that she would take care of any prowler who tried to harm her house.  She had fallen in love with the kitchen.  Xellos sat bored, humouring the others. He didn't need sleep.  Feeding off their unease, this suited him, and with everyone awake it would be more interesting.  Besides Filia did look incredibly alluring in the pink negligee that she was unsuccessfully trying to cover with the tiny housecoat that completed the set. 

 Xellos sat with a fruitcake grin on his face and little pink teddies dancing through his head.  In his distraction he didn't notice the cold draft pass through his body.  He did notice the five fists come pummelling down on his head.  Indignant, he demanded to know what their problem was.  The red faces and comments of pervert and hentai caused him to glance down.  It is probably one of the only times Xellos has actually yelped in front of people.  The sight of his purple g-string with little golden dragons on it and nothing else turned a usually calm Xellos scarlet red and speechless.  

Try as he might he couldn't phase back into his clothes.  This caused him even more embarrassment as he begged for clothes.  At this ultimate low for Xellos, the group heard wild laughter echoing through the house.  The ghosts thought it was absolutely priceless that their first victim was the infamous Trickster Priest himself.  Xellos sat and fumed in the frilly pink nightie that Amelia had so graciously loaned him.  He looked and felt ridiculous and apparently there was nothing he could do about it.

The gang decided to break into teams of two and scour the house for the culprits.  Lina and Gourry decided to check the pantry and cellars, Amelia and Zelgadis would scan the second floor, and Filia and Xellos would search the attic.  

"Why do I get stuck with that perverted namagomi?  He…he's disgusting!  I won't do it!"

"Filia…shut up!  Will a Dragon Slave make it any easier for you?" Lina asked sweetly.

Filia was quite incensed that she was once again forced with Xellos; who this time, wasn't even dressed decently for company.  Xellos turned a deeper shade of red and unsuccessfully tried to stop his one eye from twitching in agitation.

The kitchen seemed all clear and safe when Lina and Gourry entered.  

"Gee Lina; do ya think the ghosts ate all the food?  I hope not 'cause I'm a bit hungry." 

"Yeah.  Let's make sure nothing has tampered with the food." 

They figured they had better check on the food just to be on the safe side and so entered the huge fridge.  Every lovely piece of food seemed to be safe and sound.  Lina leaned over to stick her pinkie finger into a dish of icing that was to delectable to ignore.  Smack!  Lina stood up with a yowl both hands flying to the painful welt on her bottom and spun on Gourry who had his back to her.  

"What the hell was that for? Idiot!  You jelly-fish brain!  Keep your hands to yourself!"  She hauled off and pounded him in the skull, all the while accusing him of getting fresh with her.  

"Hunh?  What are you talkin' about Lina?" Gourry scratched his head in puzzlement.  Gourry's denseness spurred Lina to new levels of ire.  During Lina's tirade they failed to notice the fridge door close behind them.  

 In a moment of calm while Lina took a breath to shout at Gourry some more; she noticed a crème pie sailing straight for her.  Splat!  Lina had been pied.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha!  Lina you look ridiculous!"  Gourry couldn't help but guffaw at the hilarious look on her face, a cross between sucking a lemon and a snowman.  

Gourry missed the 40lb raw turkey that seemed to be standing on its own accord. Leaping from the top shelf; the raw turkey body-slammed the man to the floor. All of the food in the fridge began to dance around and taunt them.  They tried the door and found it locked, that's when panic set in.  

"Lina! What do we do!  The food…it's alive!"

"I don't know…my magic isn't working!  Ahhhh…we're gonna die in this fridge!"

They feared they were going to be devoured or worse by the food.  There was nothing they could do; Gourry had given away the Sword of Light, and like Xellos, Lina's powers were not operating properly.  Out in the kitchen all was quiet and serene.  Refrigerators are very well insulated. 

Amelia and Zelgadis were systematically checking the bedrooms and bathrooms.  Amelia was ready to mete out justice to the mean things that had left her memory scarred by Xellos in a g-string.  Just thinking of it made her blush.

"Justice must be served!  The assault on us by Xellos' underwear cannot go unpunished!  I will search until the culprits are found and brought to justice; or my name is not Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune!"  Amelia hurried to catch up to Zelgadis who had walked away during her speech.  He knew it by heart already.

 They approached the first bedroom suite; it was Zelgadis'.  Inside they checked the closet, the ensuite, and the little sitting room without finding any mischief.  Finally they went into the sleeping area and there propped up in Zelgadis' bed was a life sized, inflatable Amelia doll.  It was even wearing a similar night dress as the princess.  Amelia stopped stunned in her tracks, Zelgadis' eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he turned so red you could practically see him glow.  

"Wha…what…that's not mine…I…I…" stuttering and stammering he tried to deny any knowledge of the thing.  He had no idea that there was such a thing even for sale!  Zelgadis was mortified at the implications of the discovery.  He liked Amelia plenty, but he wasn't ready to commit to anything or even admit to anything!  Zelgadis wished that the floor would swallow him and his embarrassment up.

Amelia turned to the agitated chimera with stars in her eyes.  

"Mr. Zelgadis.  Don't worry that's okay.  I know that men like those things!" she chimed.  

He did care after all!  He had a funny way of expressing it, but that didn't matter!  They would be together forever and she would indulge him in whatever fetishes he desired.  She smiled beautifully at Zel and suggested they continue their search.  Zel sweat dropped and silently followed the odd little princess to the next suite.

The suite next door was Amelia's.  Again they checked closet, ensuite, and sitting room, finding nothing.  Entering the bedroom they saw, to Amelia's amazement, and Zelgadis' shame; a life size poster of the chimera wearing little more than a sword belt.  Again Zelgadis' eyes practically rolled out onto the floor as his red glow intensified.  This time Amelia joined him in his embarrassment because although in love, she was still innocently naïve about men.  Tearing her eyes away from the revealing poster she ran from the room, Zelgadis following closely.  From inside the room an inane cackling laughter taunted the poor couple all the way back to the great room.

Xellos and Filia had been banished to the attic.  

"Listen Namagomi!  Don't you try anything!  I'm warning you! Pervert!"

"Don't worry Filia; I have more pressing matters than revealing myself to a silly immature dragon!" Xellos was planning bloody murder for when he finally found the culprits who had mocked him.

"You…you…you rude monster!" Filia couldn't even think of a good comeback in her agitation.

The attic was filled with lots of old antiques and creepy cobwebs.  Filia wandered away from Xellos to look into a gable that seemed to have some kind of little room with a door.  Inside the room was a floor length mirror that was filmed with ages of dust, and a large wardrobe.  Filia opened the wardrobe to find an odd assortment of leather switches and manacles.  Filia noticed the sensation of someone passing through her too late to avoid it.

"Hey Xellos!  Come here I've got something for you."  Filia's voice had taken on a sultry cast that was not usual. 

Xellos found Filia in the room; gaping at her change of clothes he approached her.  

"My, my Filia!  I didn't think you had it in you," he leered.  "I do so love to find new dimensions in you Filia dear!"  

Filia was wearing a black leather bustier and panties with fishnet stockings and 4" spikes on her dainty feet.  Covering her sparkling blue eyes she wore a leather mask, and she idly swung a cat-o-nine tails against her lovely thigh.  Xellos was definitely intrigued by the change in the dragon.  Again in his distraction he was invaded by the cold sensation.  

          When the Mazoku regained his senses he found himself kneeling passively at Filia's feet in the great room before Zelgadis and Amelia who for some reason wouldn't even look at each other; Lina and Gourry who were covered from head to toe in food and bruises; wearing only his g-string and a collar and leash being held by Filia wearing black leather. As the first rays of dawn announced the new day, the group looked at each other in horror, and as one bolted for the door.  Laughter followed them out the door and down the path.  

The only thing the group stopped for was a concerted effort combining a Dragon Slave, a Ra Tilt, healthy doses of white and black priestly magic, and a Visfarank for good measure aimed at the house.  Satisfied with the mushroom cloud erupting from the property, the group set out to for a town were they could get some clothing and food.  Lina and Gourry turned pale at the mention of food and the rest were very desperate for clothing.  In a rare act of goodwill, Xellos with his powers returned, magically clothed the group in imitations of their lost articles.  The group swore on pain of fiery retribution and death that they would never speak of this trip again; that all that had transpired was only fiction.  Great-Aunt Matildy had had her final last laugh.


End file.
